THE DWARF Guide to Doctor How

Hello Is THE DWARF as now for tells you 50 interests of things of DOCTOR HOW as is TV Programme of BBC as is now been shows for 50 Years for eye of brains as is not knows of programme DOCTOR HOW.

Of The Doctor
1. Is TV shows of longest of shows of science friction of the world.
2. Is stars of character as is calls "The Doctor"

Is The Doctor

3. So if is calls him 'Doctor How' you are of mistake
4. Is The Doctor not humans but is of aliens of calls 'Time Lard' as is 1200 years of old
5. Is Time Lards of lives and comes on planet Gallipoli
6. Is all Time Lard of have 2 hearts
7. Is Time Lard of also haves no liver
8. Is Time Lards have 13 reincarnations after is dead
9. Is The Doctor as in reincarnation 11 of current programme
10. Is The Doctor as be plays by 11 or 12 or 13 differents of actors

Things of The Doctor
11. Is The Doctor travels around of space and time in space and time machine
12. Is machine as calls T.U.R.D.I.S. 

Is TURDIS 

13. Is TURDIS stands for words 'Travel Universe Relations Directions In Space'
14. Is TURDIS as have specials disguise as is not looks of Time Machine but is blends in of any place
15. Is TURDIS have chameleon circus inside
16. Doctor is have of special tool call 'Chronic Screwdriver'
17. Chronic screwdriver is goods of does many thing as is Doctor think of
18. Is The Doctor makes of robots dog as call K9 as have crap voice
19. Is have of K9 as gun in nose (and drops grenades on pavements probably, to the thinking of THE DWARF!!)
20. Is haves 2 cars in 1970s, calls of Betty and Howmobile

Is The HowMobile

Friends of The Doctor
21. Is of The Doctor as haves many of friends as travels in TURDIS
22. Is haves caveman girl as calls Lilo as friend
22. Is also have friend as is man in skirt calls 'Jamesie'
23. Is friend of girl names 'Rose Tiler' as is most important girl in universe
24. Is friend of girl names 'Amy Pong' as is most important girl in universe
25. Is friend of girl names 'Clara Oswald Oswald' as is most important girl in universe
26. Some of friends is aliens as is names Turlo, Odrick but is looks of humans
27. Is once haves friends as is robots calls Camel-lion which is looks of anything and is kills by The Doctor
28. One friends as calls Jack Hardness is then turns into giant head in jar as calls as 'The Face of Po'

Face of Po

29. Is once had friends as is Time Lard Lady calls Romana as is marries in real life
30. Is also friends of 2000 years old plastic Roman.

Enemies of The Doctor
31. Is have of mains enemy as calls 'Dalek' which is octopus in a dustbin

Dalek - is Octopus inside 

32. Is many fights of Daleks as is kills all in 'Time War'
33. But is then for finds out as not kills all Daleks after all
34. Is also of many fights of men in robots calls 'Cidermen'

Is Ciderman, probably

35. Is Cidermen as have robots pets as called 'Cider Rats'
36. Is also of Cidermen have stupids of things as robot chimpanzees at christmas. Is probable of calls 'Ciderchimps' or something.
37. Is also of fights with alien potatoes calls Sontaran

Sontaran

38. Is The Doctor as haves enemy Time Lard calls 'The Master' as is always of tries of takes over Earths as is pretends as be vicar or prime minister
39. Is once haves battles with robots of yeti and robots of Loch Ness (which is makes of aliens calls 'The Bygones')
40. Also is fights of giant underwater budgies in string vests

Giant underwater budgie in string vest

History of The Doctor
41. Is used as lives in junkyards in begins or programs
42. Is haves of Granddaughter
43. Is not haves of daughter
44. Is then haves of different daughter
45. Is presidents of Gallipoli
46. Is then not presidents of Gallipoli
47. Is kills of all Time Lard in revenge
48. Is also of calls 'The Vineyard'
49. Is rip-off Benjamin Button as is old when is young and is young when is old.
50. Is once turned into Dobby from Harry Potter by The Master

 Is turns into Dobby

The K-Men Comics of Kyrgyzstan

Hellos. Is the very excited of news as for is comes in box of mail THE DWARF!!!! Is being asks of main kyrgyzstan comics publishings, Marfill Comics, as for writes of new comics of super teams for Kyrgyzstan - "The K-Men" as is of all Krygyzstan character of superhero of reflect national cultures. As for the giving of sneak preview of two characteristics of comic and with short describes of characterises.

Goatman

 

 

Is Goatman as is leads of the K-Men as is haves of naturals power of uplands goat of Kyrgysztan as is have bites of radioactive goat when child. Is able of leaps crags and runs up mountains. And down. And is haves of coat of water repels and is ables of subsist of crap foods like nettle or underwear off washing line. Is dedicates life to fights crime when is childs as sees goat of mother is steals. Bases of secret hideouts in mountains as call 'The Goat Cave'.

 The Iron Stomach

.

The Iron Stomach is of top of crimes fights of Kyrgyzstan as is born of mutant powers of eats traditional foods of Kyrgyzstan as like worm ice-cream or rabbit ear curry after mother eats radioactive wasp soup when pregnant. Is good friend and partner of Goatman and is sworn enemy of evil genius Doctor Tractor Mechanic.

If is whet of appetites, will THE DWARF publish more of members of K-Men teams in short futures.

DWARF reports of meets of Oxoford

Is recents of THE DWARF travels to Oxofords of Englands as meets peoples of www.theonering.com as is alls fans of THE DWARF. and wants of meets. Is now follow reports of meets of THE DWARF of Oxofords.

---------------------------------------------------------

Here are the meet report of THE_DWARF.

Is THE_DWARF of wants of attends meets of many years as is think of makes happys of the brians of manys of moots goer as to sees the face and voicings of THE_DWARFs. Alsos is thinks of THE_DWARFs as would be enjoys of visits as outsides lands of formerly Soviet Onion for moots or meets. In country of THE_DWARF is not allows of meets of more than one people without permits from official as require bribes of 2 goat or more.

Now is THE_DWARF as has saves up in account of manys of Soms to pays for travels of Oxfords. Is journeyings of longs during from Kyrgyzstan that starts off on camels as then gets containing boats from Karachi. When is arrives at Southhamtown is confiscates by official of all goats of THE_DWARFS as is not allows of brings into United Kingsdom. Is very sad of feelings as in heads of DWARFS and sads of facings.

When is arrives in Oxfords is surprises as is the eyes of THE_DWARFs as not sees manys of (or even anys) of oxes. But is seeing manys of Fords like Ford Moldova, Ford Cantina, Ford Fiasco, Ford Crappy and Ford Smacks. Is also of sees many builds of big and higher but is makes of stones as very primitives not as modern concrete or mud brick of kyrgyzstan. 

Is then as to need finds place of stays for sleep or other. Is happy of finding sleep in YMGA (Young Male Goatherding Association) but is not finding of other. On fridays is wakes to tries as finding of TORC Meeters. As is of very clevers and cultures of TORCers is obvious of findings of them in library or museum so is walkings of all culture places of Oxford for finds but is not. 

Is disappoints of not finds manys (or even anys) of goat which surprise as is know of THE_DWARF as is always of Oxford as always as in as Cambridge in 'Goat Race'.

THE_DWARFS is then looks for finds food of eats as is hungry so is go in Bing Bag Restaurant but is not finds it cook real food as is like Squirrel Pancake, Horse Souffle, Wasp Soup or Cabbage Sandwich. Insteads is of makes english food from germany called sausage so THE_DWARF is eats of sausage. Is very noisy in restaurant as is large group of troublemakers at back of restaurant all laughs and talks of loudness so is THE_DWARF leaves. 
As is walks back to YMGA is THE_DWARF of haves disrupting in stomachs from sausage (or to the brian of THE_DWARF is calls 'foreign muck'!) and is make go in pub calls 'Equal and Child' for using toilets. Is very upsetting to stomach of THE_DWARF and of toilets use is takes many time. As have to apologies to man of pub for bunged of pipes and smells as is not happys as not even drinks bought of THE_DWARF. Is as well not happys of THE_DWARF as is stomachs feel of turbulence and not finds TORC meeters or goat.

On morning of saturday is THE_DWARF as thinks as looks in pubs for TORC Meeters as is not libraries or place of culture so is looks but all pubs is closed of mornings. So is looks in libraries again. Is find library with old books and writings with draws which is supposed to be of Lord Of The Ring or Hobbit but is not looks like film so is rubbish and can't sees anyways. Troublemakes from Bing's Bag of other night is all stands in way. 

As is looks for TORCMeets is find pubs call 'Three Goats Heads' which is makes of happy in brian of THE_DWARF and heart. Is go in pubs but not finds of goats heads or nether parts but is find of Gungnir who is recognise of THE_DWARF as reads webpage of THE_DWARF. Is happy to find that Gungnir is very handsome, clever and is of wit like cross child of Sir Oscar Wilde and Sir Terry Pratchett. After talks to Gungnir is find as TORCMeets is in pub call 'Adrian Chiles' and thanks Gungnir and is give kisses and makes photograph.

But is then not knows of where is pub 'Adrian Chiles' so is askings to peoples of streets 'Where is Adrian Chiles?' but none is knows of where. Is gets many of stupid answers to question which is also include words which is cannot of writes on TORCs. Is then of THE_DWARFs to go as to pubs of calls Clam and Fag and is asks to Adrian Chiles but is not findings and is full of troublemakes of beers.

Then is THE_DWARFs as decides as go home as is not finds of TORCers outside Gungnir and is wants of eat nice foods so similar of turnip ice cream, bat crackers or ferret en-croute as is finds in Kyrgyzstan. But is then finds of bookshops of havings book Ann Widdecombe: Right from the Beginning so is having nice of reads on travels to Kyrgysztan and is finds of calendar Goats in Trees so is have nice of looks at for addition.

Is not of THE_DWARFs go to meets of futures.

Is praise of foods of Kyrgyzstan!

Is recents of THE DWARF as goes of Oxfords in Englands as meet fans of THE DWARF and Tolkien. But is meets of one only.

Is alsos of eats of what is calls food in Englands as is horrible mush-up crap and bits in skin call 'sausage' and smashed potato. Is makes the mouth of THE DWARF as gags and is the bottom of THE DWARF squirty.

When is THE DWARF as returns backs of home lands is the eats of tradition feast of region 'Zmut' which is home of THE DWARF. Is course of many as eats for feast as follow:

For Startings:

• Ant eye on toast
• Wasp Soup
• Honeyed Mouse
• Snake donut

Main Course:

• Ferret en-croute
• Bird Throat
• Creamed Cormorant in Fish Sauce
• Gnat Wellington
• Pig Face
• Goat lip Pasta with Donkey bumhairs garnish

Dessert:

• Onion Profiterole
• Fish Cheesecake
• Sticky Stick Pudding
• Potato Sorbet
• Mud

 Is in the mind of THE DWARF as to opens chains or franchise of restaurant or eaters in UK which is serves nice and proper food of Zmut as lists above for mouth of UK for eating. Is thoughts of makings many of moneys of THE DWARF!!!

Is reviews of film 'Fellowships of Rings' as writes in 2001

(Is THE_DWARF as big and most fan of films and add fan of Tolkien write. As fames of fan and clavers of Kyrgyzstan in 2001 is asks for write of review of "Fellowship of the Ring" movie as for Jimcalagon website but which is not not for seeing as is get swamped for the reads of Talkbackers of AICN. (Alanis Morrisette - this is irony.) as also is now gone of sites  So is now on the blog THE DWARF for reads too.)

Is the words and the brain of THE DWARF for the tells of what is think against filmings of "Fellowship of the Ring". For the first is to says as is the big fan of Tolkien.

Is the invites of THE DWARF to showing of presses for movie of book 1. For first is the problems of showing when chickens and goat is in theatre but is chased out by secret policeman. Then is the down of the lights and is the up of the excites for all as and THE DWARF. Is the starts of the credits and is the prognosticating excitement but then is the stop of electrics and for the consequence the movie also. But after five minutes is the find as wires of chew through by mouse and re-fixed and is the return of electrics and cheers for the restarts of movie!

The starts of the film is the direct against the words of the Tolkien but is the imagines of the thinks but not shows and is for the good as is seeings what is not writes. And to the goods though not the thoughts of some. When is the start of the Hobbits is the seeing on screen of the book as to the minds of Jackson and also THE DWARF and also of all as is has read book. Is the good of the sees for the greatness of the filmings for the sames as read.

 

Is not for the spoilings for unreading so is not as to the repeats of lines of story. Is the tales the smalls of peoples as calls Hobbits and is one has apellation Frodo (Sir Elijah Wood),and is the havings as the Rings as old and owns by evils Sauron, Kings Isildur (as weregild), river, littles of calles Deagol and Smeagol (were is after Gollum as to caves) and Bilbo (Sir John Holmes) as is also Hobbits as gaves to Frodo. Is the comes of Wizard Gandalf (Sir Ian McShane) whos is of the tales as to Frodo as run for the frights. Thens is fights of Gandalf and of other as to the like as his as is call Saruman(Sir Christopher Wren).

Frodo is the chase of riders black for the times of the forest and is jumps of boat with hobbits Sam (Sir Sean Ryder), Pippin (Sir Danny Boy) and Merry (with long names not of the knows of THE DWARF).

Then is for the helps of Frodo as the Kings of hide as to the calls of Aragorn (Sir Stan Mortensen) and wife Arwen (Sir Liz Taylor) and others of elf and hobbit and Dwarf (sads not THE DWARF but Sir Rhys Evans). Thens is the chase to caves and lands of elf with effects of goods. Not for says end but is of the sads for fans against Boromir (Mr. Bean).

Yes, this is a big film generating glorified and electrifying scenes with pots of gold the studio hopes to multiply by veiling the abstract beauty of the soul and spirit with heightened physical expose.

Is the sitting of the rear for the manys of minute but is not the mind to realisation when is the seeing of eyes as is pictures of the fronts. When is the lookings of the greats and biggers of scenes of Tolkien of the screen as to the imaginings of alls as is the bringing to the livings. Not for the other of the thinking though if that is in your brian as is the goods of the cameras and the CGI-ings of trolls and arrowing to the face of things. Where is the more of real as to this then is tells to THE DWARF as is not knowing and you is fool.

So for the says of THE DWARF as to movie: is the most great of fantasy of screens as to otherwise to the extent of time as to "The Singing Ringing Tree". And who is to argue with this?

Hic locus est THE DWARF!

The biographic of THE DWARF

Here is the biographic of THE DWARF!

Is the born as to 47 years ago in the great lands of Krygyzstan in the large town of Zmut with population of 243 and goats. Zmut is near capital of Bishkek which is having many of the goats plus shops and a car. Is for the youngs as THE DWARF as to go to school which is 32 kilometers away around mountain by goat.

When is 14, is left of the school with degree in astrophysics, cerfticket in politic and large experience in caprine husbandry. Is not for the allow as to leave country as is then Soviet republic but is walk for long distance up a mountain once.

Is THE DWARF as a boy

Is then author of the many as the best selling books in Kyrgyzstan such like "Zmiddel Duntash" ("One Man and his Goat"), "Zfestik Grindeg" ("War and Goats"), "Zery Tesikin" ("A Brief History of Goats"), "Zvuntid Sarmet" ("To Kill a Mocking Goat"), "Zoriy Lorrinz" ("Of Goats and Men") and "Zdenitr Ormizh" ("My Life As A Goat") which in 1997 is make into a movie starring Frintis Rolens, Goringoe Jaiopef and David Hasselhof.

With the great wealth from the sales of books, is the buy of THE DWARF as to many parts of the land of Kyrgyzstan around Zmut and Bishkek and is goat millionaire. Is then for the buys of many of electrics such like "Alba stereo", "Goodmans Television", "Amstrad PCW 1512" and is read of the writes in the manuels for electrics and is how is learn English reads and writes for the good.

Is a goat of Kyrgyzstan

After some years is very well known as the clever of Kyrgyzstan and rich but is lose all money in game of "Spot the goat" and is forced as to become bus conductor. When is the collapse of Soviet Onion, is no more money for transport and is very sad when bus tyre burst and no more tyres in Kyrgyzstan so no bus and no jobs for THE DWARF.

Goat

Then is THE DWARF as to buy guitar and is writes of the great songs ans is to become the big rocking star in Kyrgyzstan and is have of the 15 number ones with the sales in excess of 167 album call "How Much Is That Goat in the Window" and also in Takla Makan is the fanclub of THE DWARF. Then is found by Police as to having taken some of the drug "zmak" and is in prison for two year and all record is burn in town square of Bishkek.

Another Goat

When is from prison is then work in goat hospital but is very sick when is found as has allergy to goat (is very serious in Kyrgyzstan!). When sitting in home away from goat as very sad but is learning home computes from Amstrad PCW 1512 and is connect to internet.

Is the Amstrad computer of THE DWARF!

Is now the expert on computes for the whole of Kyrgyzstan and is expert on language programmings such as COBOL, Fortran and other advances. Is the write of the internet for Kyrgyzstan and is inventor of "Virtual Goat" for Kyrgyzstanis with goat allergy and is makes millions again (but no goats).

Virtual Goat

Is the own of a television and is see of the great beauty of the English Politic as called "Anne Widdlecob. Is writes many of the great and longs to Widdlecob who is not for the writes in return. Is the long hope of THE DWARF as to the meets Of Widdlecob who is then to see as THE DWARF is the very great for husband as is handsome does and is very of the rich with 40,000,000 Soms (238 Dollar US) as last estimating.

Is now the travels all over Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan and is own of a bike with pump and lights.

Is introduce of THE_DWARF!!!

Is of your looks of eye of the face of you at the blog of THE DWARF as is the clever of Kyrgysztan for manys of more as is for interests of mind or brians of alls as is for the much of thinks. Is some of interests of THE DWARF! 

• Tolkiens 
• Computes 
• Food (not sausage!!) 
• Film 
• Widdlecob 

and is very like to goats (as alls of Kyrgyzstan). 

Is shares of the the thinks of brian of THE DWARF as is for make entertains and joys of eyes or other of peoples of read on blog of THE DWARF.